Where is my heart?

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Click here to to listen to the audio version of this blog

So Christmas is over, and all my hearts desires have been filled, right? Not really, as I prepare for this upcoming move I realize how much stuff (I am substituting this word for another that isn't so nice) I have that isn't worth anything, but I am sure at the time I thought this was what I desired and had to have.

Having children is like glimpsing into a small portion of what it must be like with our relationship with God. After all, we are children of God and I know that I often act like one, especially in this area. My eight year old will come to me saying "Dad, I really want this toy, I need it daddy please!" She wants this toy so badly and will even beg for it. I look at what she wants and I realize it will only satisfy her for a short amount of time. I often shake my head thinking if she only could see how unimportant this toy really is, but then again I wonder how many times God shakes His head at me when I do the same thing. "I need this new tablet, I need a new TV, I need, I need, I need! I might not be begging to my parents like she does, but I vocalize this "need" to people around me and to God. And let me point out that the word "need" is often used here, not want. It is very overused considering the only things we "need" in life are food, water, shelter and salvation; the rest are just conveniences. What I really need instead of the tablet and TV is to put them away and spend more time with my family and friends, and build up the treasures that matter. 

So lets say I didn't have half of the "stuff" I have. What would be the plusses and minuses. What would be the bad aspect of not having it.  What could I have done with the money that I spent on all this "stuff"? Could have I given more to the church? Could I have given to the poor? Could I have invited a non-believer over and given them a meal?

What is scary about the verse is the very end. I look at what I have and according to the verse that is where my heart lies. I am not proud of what I have stored up in. 

Lord, I ask you to really help me with my priorities. As I move and start over I pray that you help me realize what I should store up. Thank you for second chances. Thank you for the amazing gift of salvation. I pray that I use the resources you have given me to help give others the gift of salvation. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

Sleep is so important, mentally, physically and spiritually. I struggle with sleep, often to the point of me looking like a zombie from lack of a good night of rest. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from my time in Afghanistan and other times in my life as well. This causes me to have horrible and terrifying nightmares. I try to avoid these nightmares in many ways, but one of them is by fighting sleep. I am certain if I sleep I will have a nightmare, so I just force myself to stay up and get close to no sleep. The problem with that is then I create a whole new series of problems.

I am grumpier when I am tired which causes me to snap at people I am close with and don’t deserve to be treated that way. I am tired and don’t have energy which of course stops me from enjoying the day like I should. It makes it hard to get up and do things and when I do they are not done with as much care and thought as they should because my mind is not functioning at full capacity. It lowers my immune system, constantly being tired leaves my body prone to illness and infections. It also affects me spiritually, when my mind and body are so tired, the time I spend with my Savior is not given fully and wears on my soul as well.

The verse above is encouraging to me and if broken down has much to say on many levels regarding sleep and how we should go about it, especially if it is an area of struggle like me.

• Seek a peaceful mind - Just as the first words are “In peace”, the first step in having a good night’s sleep is seeking peace in God. Pray and spend some time with your Father before you go to bed; asking for forgiveness to relieve any guilt, spilling all your worries to Him that they may be gone, and calming your mind with the peace only He can provide. If your frame of mind is relaxed than your body can soon follow.
• The verse applies to me directly - The next step is to acknowledge that the verse is talking to you directly. It doesn’t say he will sleep, or they will sleep, it says “In peace I…” This should be read in reference to yourself. David is the one who is talking about himself, but as you read it, put yourself as the subject. 
• Approach sleep positively - David says, “In peace I will…” not “I will try…” He said with determination and resolution that this is what will happen. He didn’t approach bedtime with negative ideas or resolved himself to failure before he began. Many times I go to bed thinking, “I am going to bed now, but I know I won’t sleep.” I didn’t sleep last night and tonight will be no different.” I am already condemning my sleep in my head. We need to follow his example and be positive in our approach, thinking we will do this! 
• Plan and prepare to sleep - It says, “In peace I will lie down…” meaning you don’t just think to yourself, I will go to sleep tonight and it will happen, you have to take action and go about the process. Just like any part of our daily schedule, there are steps to achieving them. When we eat, we must get the food before we consume it. When we get dressed, we must first pick out clothes. There are steps to everything we do and sleep should be a part of that routine as well. The step to planning on sleeping is to actually “lie down”. By positioning yourself in the position of sleep you are preparing for the actual slumber to occur.
• Focus on sleeping - The next part is the action itself, “In peace I will lie down and sleep…” Now that you are lying down, you must focus on sleeping. That is the reason you got in bed to begin with after all. You didn’t get in bed to read, get on your computer or play on your phone as I often do. When we lie down at night, there is only one thing we should be focused on doing and that is to sleep. Because you already prayed for peace in the beginning, you should not be solving tomorrow’s problems, wondering what may happen next year, reliving all the worries of the day, but just focusing on sleep! When we lie down with the mindset of only going to sleep, then the sleep will usually happen.
• Relax in Him - “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” We have the assurance that God will keep us safe and protect us. In my case, I fear my horrible nightmares or that something bad will happen in the night. With these words, I can rest knowing that I am safe in the arms of the Lord. 

With the breakdown of this verse my prayer is that tonight and every night from now on, I would remember this and turn to Christ to help in my insomnia. I pray that I will seek peace in Him and relax in knowing He is there to keep me safe. With this security in our Lord, I hope that my sleepless nights are over and my mind, body and soul may all be focused and healthy.

I found this today, it is not a song, but rather a soothing prayer. The words are perfect to what we should say at night and it is said in such a calming and relaxing way. I am warning you tho, it put me in a tired mood right away so maybe wait and listen to it this evening, I know I will be. :)

One of my (Many) Problems

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. -Romans 12:19

I have a problem. I have a problem with people who commit crimes and don’t get the sentence I think they should get. I have a problem with people who commit heinous crimes and then right before they die they give their life to Jesus and get saved. I know I should be happy for them and for God that someone chose to follow Jesus. But I am not. I think sometimes that they should spend an eternity in hell. This is a big problem with me. 

First it is a big problem because as it says in the bible passage above to let the vengeance be Gods plan. It is a big problem because I am commanded to love. A friend of mine has always said, “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” I can do that with my friends but I struggle with doing that for the people I despise. 

My other big problem is that I pick sins that are just above mine and make that the standard for all of mankind. I see all sin that is “worse” than mine the real issue instead of having the mindset that my sin is horrible too, in God’s eyes and I am not worthy either of God’s grace and mercy.

I am often reminded of “The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard” in Matthew 20 where Jesus paints the image of people who agreed to work in the field for a certain wage and when people came late in the day and got the same wage for less work, they had a problem with it, and what resonates with me is the second to last line, where Jesus ask the question, “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” Wow that line hits like a ton of bricks. He is generous to me, to you to everybody, I need to remember that. 

I think of the saying about grace and mercy, “Grace is God giving us what we don’t deserve and Mercy is God not giving us what we do deserve” I need to remember God is full of Grace and Mercy and I need to be thankful for both.

Lord thank you for Grace and Mercy. Thank you for teaching me daily to let you handle other people and for me to love them despite what they do. Lord thank you for loving me when I don’t follow your word. Thank you Lord for helping me be humble when I mess up and allowing you to making teachable moments for others around me (especially my Daughters) when I do fall short. In Jesus name, Amen.

Accountability

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

The first book I ever read in the bible was the book of Daniel. Lots of people remember the story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den. How faithful Daniel was and how God delivered Daniel from the Lions by closing the mouths of the lions while Daniel was there over night. It is a great story.

But that is not what I am impressed with in that story; chapter 3 is where I was riveted. The story starts by King Nebuchadnezzar making an image of gold and all were commanded to bow down and worship it. Three men Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not bow down and worship the statue but prayed to God were brought in and given another chance to renounce God and worship the gold statue. They refused knowing that they would be put into a fiery furnace. The king was so mad and turned the fire up hotter by seven times and threw the three men into the fire. Not only the three men were protected, there is a first look and what people think is Jesus in the fire with them.

This is what I truly believe about this amazing story. I believe that if any one of them were alone they would have caved and bowed down to worship the statue to save their lives. They could have even justified it saying, “I didn’t really worship the gold statue” or “God I pretended to worship the gold idol and it saved my life so that I could serve you later” but since there were 2 friends who shared their beliefs they were strong for each other and encouraged each other not to cave.

How many of us could benefit at having a Christian friend by our side as we go through a difficult time to obey God. Let’s say you have a tough time with overspending, and you tell your Christian friend that you struggle with it. As they hang out with you I am guessing just because they are there you would not over spend, but as soon as their gone you would over spend. They put “Skin on God” and eyes on you.

The key to navigating this amazing journey with God is to do it with God’s Love and accountability. And I believe that God puts people in your life to help you with that journey.

Lord I pray that each of us finds an accountability partner that puts skin on God and that we communicate with and are honest with what we struggle with. I pray that just like the bible passage states that we help each other up and we act better with this accountability. Thank you for the amazing example Daniel gives us, and thank you for the three men of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and how they stayed strong for each other and you God despite the consequence. Please let me be that for others, and put people in my life to hold me accountable to you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

On My Knees

"pray without ceasing" 1 Thessalonians 5:17

In the age we live in, we are always connected to one another in some way. We have email, Facebook, Skype, texting and talking. We spend so much time communicating with friends, family, and colleagues, but how much time to we spend talking to God?

God is my Father, my Lord and my Savior, and yet I talk to so many other people more than I do Him. I am not saying I never pray; I pray daily, but it is not as intimate or often as I would like, or need. Communication in a relationship is vital and our relationship with Christ is no different.

My grandma, Ellie, was a prayer warrior. She would pray anytime anywhere about anything or anyone. She used to live in this condo facing a pretty busy street and she would pray as she looked out her window. She would see a couple holding hands walk past her and would thank God for their love and their relationship. She would see children walk home to and from school and would pray for their lives and their future. She would she an ambulance drive by and would pray for the safety of where they were going and to guide the paramedics and doctors working. She would watch the snow or rain fall from her window and thank God for the weather and also pray for the safety of everyone because of it. She would praise God on his creations when she would watch the cardinals and robins feed outside. She would see a distressed or sad person walk by and she would pray that God would comfort her and provide her with support and encouragement and that she would come to find happiness in Him. I could go on and on about who and what she would pray for.   She was filled with the Holy Spirit and was so happy to use her gift of prayer for His glory. Just as the verse says, my grandma truly prayed without ceasing.

She is one of my role models when it comes to my prayer life. I am not saying we all need to pray all day like she would, however we do need to set aside time to pray to our Father daily as well as whenever the need arises.

A lot of people don't pray as often as they should because they feel awkward by not knowing how or what to say. There are several passages in the Bible that tell us about prayer; Romans 8:26-27, Philippians 4:6 and Matthew 6:5-15 (9-15 being The Lord's Prayer) are just a few.  There are also many standard prayers, meaning they are laid out there for you to say. I have heard mealtime and bedtime prayers that children recite; there is the serenity prayer, and so many more. There is nothing wrong with those either, but the prayer I am talking about is more personal that those. I am not talking about praying for something that never changes, but communicating to God your fears, praises, requests, and things pertaining solely to your personal life or about what is happening now.

As a child, I was told of a way to help me pray by using the fingers on your hand, it contains no words to say, just a structure of how a prayer can be delivered. It is not a requirement just merely a suggestion. You start with your thumb and work your way to your pinkie with every finger representing a different subject to pray for. It goes like this...

• Thumb - It is nearest to you and so you start by praying for the people who are closest to you. This is the easiest to remember but not always the easiest to pray for. Your loved ones are close of course and they are the easy ones to pray for, however our enemies, even if in a negative way, are close to us as well and those are not so easy to pray for, but just as equally important that we do.
• Pointer - We use our pointing finger to well... point of course, so next you pray for those who help point you in the right direction. They can be teachers, pastors, doctors. They have great influence on society and personally so we should lift them up in prayer.
• Tall Man - The tallest finger is supposed to remind us of who is in charge; the president, congress, governors and even bosses. Those people are responsible to lead us and they need God's guidance.
• Ring Man - For those that do not know, our ring finger is the weakest finger on our hand. It should help us to remember to pray for those that are hurting, in trouble or weak. They are battling struggles of some kind and are always in need of our prayer, comfort and love.
• Pinkie - Finally we are left with the smallest of them all, which is where we should place yourself in relation to God and others. The pinkie represents "little old me". By praying for all the others first, by the time you pray for yourself, your needs can be placed into perspective better.

Now, that is by no means the only way to pray, but it is a great reminder of who to pray for if you get lost. There is not a set guideline as to the exact words you have to pray. That being said, prayer should always come from a humble heart. In fact the word prayer comes from the Latin word precari which means to ask with humility. We should always come to Him with the understanding that He is in control and remember who we are talking to. We don't even have to kneel, however there is no place more humble than on your knees which is why so often it is done in that manner. We should always pray for God's will to be done in every situation, which as most of us know is not always what we want, but it will be what God wants and what will eventually bring glory to Him. Prayer is an act of faith and so we need to trust God to provide, be there and answer, regardless if the answer is the one we want to hear. Prayer is a powerful thing and amazing work can be done when we come to God and ask Him to do His will in our lives and the lives or others.

So I encourage us all to come to the Lord in prayer more often and more intimately, whether it is in the car, before dinner, during chores, while you walk, or at bedtime, that we take the time to communicate to our Father.  It can be silently in your head, spoken out loud or even in writing, just that we focus more on our relationship with Him.

Dear heavenly Father, I come to you with a humble heart on my knees asking that you please give us all a renewed love for spending time with you in prayer. And regardless of how you might choose to answer, I pray that we trust you to guide us down that path according to your will, that we will surrender to you and will have faith in your perfect plan. Also Lord please teach us to be more bold in prayer, to come to you more, to ask for your help more and to be more unwavering in trusting that you listen and answer the prayers of your people.  It is such a joy knowing that Jesus lives to pray for us and that the Spirit is ever interceding within our hearts; what a most glorious and comforting arrangement, Father. Thank you. So in Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Maybe this song choice is a bit unorthodox since it is me who is singing, but I feel that this post is a request for myself to be more diligent in prayer as well as encourage all of you, and since the prayer is from me, I don't find it inappropriate that I be the one singing the song as well. I won't explain the song, but if you are curious, read the caption under the video. More importantly though, just as this post comes from my heart, so do the words of this song and I pray that they both can be used to reach both me and you so that we may all grow in our relationship with Christ. 

Healthy Choices

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own." 1 Corinthians 6:19

I struggle with eating too much. I have always struggled with it. Food taste good and I love to eat.  Yet as we learned a couple weeks back, that nothing we have including our own life is ours. It is on loan to us to take care of.

I also know that I am very hypocritical, I will complain about someone and their smoking and yet I think that depending on if you die by smoking related diseases or overeating who am I to tell others until I have my own issues figured out.  I am often reminded of Matthew 7 where it says “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:3-5. This passage doesn't say not to mention other peoples down falls, but to take care of mine first.

So this week I have started my weight loss journey again, and have several people who are going to hold me to this. I have not decided to count calories, but to just make wise choices. Everybody knows that donuts are bad and apples are better. I don’t need a chart for that. But once a week I am going to weigh and update my spreadsheet, and my goal is 2 lbs a week for 18 weeks and be at a good weight that gives me the most energy.

Lord I pray that each of us knows that everything we have is yours, including our lives. Lord I pray that you hold me strong to make wise decisions toward healthy lifestyles, and that I understand that I have been given a really good body that you have entrusted me to take care of. I pray that when I choose to tell others about their poor habits, that I ensure that I am not a hypocrite and that I deliver a message with love. In Jesus name, Amen.

My Balm of Gilead

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

Probably one of the hardest things we have to face is loss. There are several types of loss. I have lost something material that had great importance to me. I have lost faith in myself after a mistake. I have lost my health and had to adjust to an entirely different lifestyle. I have lost contact with friends over the years. I have lost pets, which can be more painful than human loss at times. I have lost friends over betrayal, and breaking of trust. I have lost friends, family and loved ones in death. I have lost a loved one in a relationship, both through death and also through the ending of our love. These losses all cause grief and sorrow.

Right now I am hurting over a deep personal loss. I am in enormous amounts of pain; pain that feels like a sword with flames of fire piercing through my heart.  I am filled with the hopelessness that accompanies grief and even some of the bitterness. But most of all it is the pain and sorrow that has encompassed me; that feels as though it will never end. My eyes are red from crying and yet the tears continue to flow. I am thankful that God gave us tears to express our grief and pour out the inner pain, because I know that holding it in is far more dangerous.  

In fact one of the most freeing verses in the Bible is also the shortest one, John 11:38, "Jesus wept". Those two words give us permission to weep in our sorrow because they reveal how Jesus modeled for us this normal response to grief. Don't think it's more spiritual to hold in your tears, even men. Despite what society has told you, it is okay to cry when grieving.

I know it is also normal for the flood of emotions to feel like a roller coaster. The feelings of despair and depression are not a sign we are unspiritual. Many prophets of God have asked the question “Why?” Even Jesus, our Savior without sin asked “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” It is normal to have these questions, but I pray that I, as well as all of you, remember that God is still here and wants to comfort us and heal our pain.

He will heal our pain, but He will also use our pain. He will use it to make us more like Jesus. In Isaiah 53:3 it states that Jesus was a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. We can’t bypass that sorrow and grief and still expect to develop emotional and spiritual maturity; we must go through it so God can use it to bring us closer to Him, even if right now, the pain feels unbearable and probably will for a long time.

Dear God, I know from the verses above that You can “heal the brokenhearted” and “save the crushed in spirit”. You are the God of comfort, our balm in Gilead to soothe our wounds and help us recover. Thank You for that. Lord, please wrap us in Your arms and hold and comfort us in our times of grief and sorrow. I pray that we will put our faith in Your promises, trusting that our Heavenly Father knows best and will get us through whatever we face. I know You have a plan for each of us and pray that You will continue to provide us with hope for tomorrow. I pray that when we experience grief, sadness, loss, pain, etc…that You will restore our life and give us love, grace, hope and joy. I pray that we will remember that Jesus knows our pain and sorrow and is our source of healing and our source of life. Help is to know that You have a higher purpose for us, and are faithful to use our most painful times to mature us, to draw us into closer dependence on You. On a personal note…I don't know if time will ever help me, but I know You can. Please Lord, heal my pain and hurt so that I may rejoice in you. Thank you, Lord for always being here for me. I pray these things in Your holy name. Amen.