Monday, March 18, 2013

I am weak but He is strong

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalms 73:26

Sometimes I wish I wasn't as thick headed as I was. Sometimes I wish I could have just come to Christ instead of being violently shaken until I get it, but that’s now how I am wired and everybody has their own unique way of coming to Christ, and looking back I wouldn't change a thing, this story is mine.

So a week after Kenneth, my 2 year old baby boy, departed us and I had decided to follow God, I was still broken and very much hurting. God has restored my knee, he had gotten my money back, I got my orders to California, I had gained my next rank by a miracle. but I didn't have Kenneth and I didn't think I could continue. I was on the south side of Oahu and I pulled my car over and just sat their crying. The radio was playing and mid song there was dead air. I didn't even notice the radio until it went dead and that kind of snapped me out of my pity. I remember looking up at the radio which was on, but nothing was coming across it. The silence was broken by the song I have linked below. After about 30 seconds of dead air the song came on and memorized me into a trance and I was fixated on the words and music. Each and every word that came across in that song was speaking to me.  I needed God to help me shake this anger, I needed his gentle hands to keep me calm and I did misjudged love between a Father and his son.  As the song was ending the lyrics of "the hidden truth no longer haunting me" and about "touching on things that were never spoken"? and being "set free" really spoke to my hidden sin and I was finally free from my past.

The bible verse I quoted above was one of the first bible verses I read after I became a Christian. And it is true about me being weak and Him being strong enough for both of us. To me that is comforting then when I couldn't go on, but I still need it to this day.

Please listen to the song and follow the lyrics below and understand that this song was the audible voice of God when I needed it.


The Last Song
Music and Vocals by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard
Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won't you help me if you can to shake this anger
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm
`Cause I never thought I'd lose
I only thought I'd win
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin
I can't believe you love me
I never thought you'd come
I guess I misjudged love
Between a Father and his son
Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free

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